Possible Side Effects

One of my most favorite books is “Possible Side Effects” by Augusten Burroughs. It is a book that randomly accounts the life of a man. The story is written in first person, and I don’t think the character’s name is ever stated. This writing style results in the reader never actually knowing if the book recounts the life of the author or someone else or if it is made up. Either way, this book is HILARIOUS. It makes me laugh out loud (just as much as Stephanie Plum!). If you have not read it, I recommend it.

Another reason I love this book, is because it is exactly the kind of book I want to write. I would record all of the things I remember in my life and add in the psychological aspects, the growth aspects, the spiritual aspects. Is there a market for this? Is it self-help or fiction? Will it be the autobiography I’ve always dreamed of writing? Would it have to be in chronological order? Would anyone learn anything from the circumstances I have dealt with in my life? Which ones do I include and which ones do I keep out? Are some things too private? With my book, I think the Possible Side Effects would be pissing off people who are included in the book. Would I be able to mask the truth (to protect my relationships) and still be able to convey my message (to help the reader grow)? Do I focus on childhood, teenage or adult years? Can I get three or four or five books out of my life? (I have three blogs, why not five books?)

I have memories that start when I was less than two years old. I know the memories are from this time, because my sisters left me when I was less than two years old. I also know that the memories are mine and not implanted by someone else or a photograph, because I have never told anyone these memories.

The very first memory I have is of my two sisters and I, late at night. We should have been sleeping, but instead we were all on the top bunk. We were giggling. And then we heard a door slam and Mandy said, “Uh oh, Brian is home.” And we were all instantly scared. We cowered in the top bunk together until all was quiet and then I climbed down the ladder and went to my bed. For most of my life, I thought we were scared because Brian was mean, because he had come home drunk and we thought we would be beaten. I think I assessed the situation this way based on what I learned of him growing up. Now that I have a toddler, I realize that we were probably scared because we knew we were doing something we were not supposed to be doing – we should have been sleeping!

My next memory actually includes my biological father. The details are hazy, but I was in his apartment. I can see the layout. I met his girlfriend, Lynn. She was tall and skinny and had long dark hair. I liked her. The same memory includes Rick dropping me off at my mom’s house on Louisiana Ave in Crystal. He was holding me. He had on a hat - brown leather. He had a mustache. I was happy.

Okay, not funny like Augusten Burroughs, but entertaining none the less. “Possible Side Effects” probably sold millions of copies. My book might not sell millions. But if one person learns from it, it would be worth all of the effort.

****Please note this blog is moving to http://lesliewantstowrite.blogspot.com/
Check out my additional blogs - http://ourtwowheeledadventure.blogspot.com/ and
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Technical Difficulties

Due to technical difficulties, the location of this blog has moved. Please visit my new blogspot at:

http://lesliewantstowrite.blogspot.com/

I apologize for the inconvenience.

Revolutionized

Good morning!

I haven't written for a couple weeks. The Broussard house was a little chaotic with visitors and then Brytin starting kindergarten. I have, however, started quite a few rough drafts. Look for upcoming posts to include such riveting topics as:

An alternative ending to my 07/21 post which leads into great detail about my parents
My observations on the great impact adults unknowingly have on children
Fun at the beach
A crazy night of dreams I had
Freedom
Stonehenge
Things my mother taught me
And more!

I very much want to spend a lot of energy honing my writing skills. The only way that can happen is if I actually sit down and write. Starting today, that is going to happen! Look for a new post tomorrow :)

PS - it would be VERY helpful in my pursuit to improve my writing if you add your comments.

Adam and Eve

Today, I offer you this excerpt from “Searching For God Knows What” by Donald Miller.

When Adam finished naming the animals, after all his work and effort, God put him to sleep, took a rib out of side, and fashioned a woman. I had read that part a thousand times, but I don’t think I quite realized how beautiful this moment was. Moses said the whole time Adam was naming the animals (what could have possibly taken 100 years) he couldn’t find a helpmate suitable for him. That means while he was naming cattle he was lonely, because he couldn’t really communicate in the same way with the cattle, and when he was naming fish he probably wanted to go swim in the ocean with them, but he couldn’t breathe underwater; and the entire time he could not imagine what a helpmate might look like, how a helpmate might talk, the ways in which a helpmate might think. The idea of another person had, perhaps never entered Adam’s mind. Just like a kid who grows up without a father has no idea what having a father would be like, a guy who grows up the only human would have no idea what having another human around would be like. So here was this guy who was intensely relational, needing other people and in order to cause him to appreciate the gift of companionship, God had him hang out with chimps for a hundred years. It’s quite beautiful, really. God directed Adam’s steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude.

I think it was smart of God because today, now that there are women all around and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued. I read how very beautiful it was the God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after a hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all the world and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle silent way she sleeps. It stands to reason if Byron, Keats, and Shelley made beauty from reflecting on their muses, having grown up around women all their lives, that even these sonnets could not capture the sensation Adam must have felt when he opened his eyes to find Eve.

You probably think I am being mushy and romantic, but the first time Moses breaks into poetry in the Bible is when Adam first meets Eve. The thing about Moses was he was the king of understatements. He could pack a million thoughts and emotions into just a few words. Here’s what he said about what Adam thought when he met Eve:
Bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh (Genesis 2:23)
If you think about these ideas they are quite meaningful, and the bit of poetry Moses came up with truly summarizes the scene because, for the first time in his life, Adam was seeing a person who was like him, only more beautiful, and smarter in the ways of love and encouragement, and more deliberate in the ways of relationships. He must have thought to himself that she was perfect, and after a few days of just talking and getting to know each other, they must have fallen deeply in love. After Adam had taken Eve to the distant mountains where they could look down on the four rivers, and after he built for her a home and showed her the waterfalls and taught her the names of all the animals, he must have gone on a long walk with God and thank Him, and I’ll bet that was a very beautiful conversation. I’ll bet Adam felt loved by God, like he was somebody God was always trying to bless and surprise with amazing experiences, and I’ll bet they talked together about how beautiful Eve was and how wonderful it was that the two of them could know her, and I would imagine that Eve felt safe, loved, not used or gawked at, but appreciated and admired.

I know it sounds sensational, but I used to think that story was just a cartoon. But they weren’t at all; they were people and they felt all the things we might expect them to feel. And certainly a lot of this stuff really did happen to them, and certainly Adam was taken aback by Eve, surprised and amazed, and this is summed up wonderfully in Moses’ poem.

Poetry

I read recently that the subtle nuances in poetry can express beauty better than any essay ever could.

Tonight, as I stood on my back porch, soaking in the full moon, I greatly wished for the gift of prose. But alas, I have none.

The way the moon back lit the sporadic clouds was simply breathtaking. Adding to the glory were the random, barely visible stars. Included in the sight was the ominous darkness of the "moutains" (big hills, really, but the closest thing to a mountain I have ever lived near.)

I wish I could write you a poem so you could see it too. Maybe my inability to write "fluffy" is a side effect of often skipping the description in books and jumping to the action. Hmph.

I know from experience that a photograph would do that sight no justice, so I did not even try. But that imagine will be forever ingrained in my mind.

Romans 1:20 "The basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes can't see; eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his diving being. So nobody has a good excuse." (The Message)

Shhhh…Don’t tell!

I ADORE my husband (WAY more than I should).
I do not have a college degree.
I am a Christian.
Some facts are better left as secrets.
I LOVE to play pool.
Seth David Fisher broke my heart in the 7th grade.
When my parents were out of town one weekend, I allowed some friends to borrow their motor home.
I was abandoned by my father at like 6 months old, and then rejected by him in my 20s.
I am a divorcee.
The constellations Orion and the Big Dipper remind me of significant events in my life.
I suffered from a miscarriage in January 2007.
I am hoping Brytin’s year in kindergarten will help me decide if I want to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think that I have a “chemical imbalance.”
I used to earn almost $25/hour.
My uncle lied to me one too many times.
I drink a LOT of coffee and barely any water.
I once ratted out a friend to save my own ass.
I do not WANT to quit smoking.
I slept with a married man (before I was married).
I am not at all confident.
I am a stay-at-home stepmother.
I feel as though I let a lot of people down in my short life.
My grandmother lives a few hours away from me, but I haven’t seen her in three years.
I miss Kristen Sue Stich.
I’ve been married in Vegas - twice.
I have more debts than four families should have.
I have never lived up to my potential.
I have a rage deep inside that no one has ever seen.
I am scared to death of inheriting rheumatoid arthritis.
I ride a motorcycle.
I hate only one person on this earth.
I used to snort a lot of crystal meth.
I swear too much.
I live in a manufactured home.
I had an abortion the summer before my sophomore year.
I long to be the wisest person you know.
I am really good friends with my husband’s ex-wife.
No one close to me has died (knock on wood).
I love to cook and knit and garden and read.
I wish I could do eighth grade all over again.

http://www.postsecret.com/

New Book

So, I got this new book…and I think it is going to radically change my marriage.

I read this article on MSN last week about how I am actually hurting my marriage by insisting that Chris and I talk about feelings. What if that is true? What if it isn’t some hooey made up by a guy who just wanted his wife to shut up?

According to some psychotherapists (one male and one female), talking actually makes situations WORSE. We all know that men and women are wired differently, and over the years we have come to accept this and even have done our best to work with the differences. This article, however, pointed out a difference that I had never quite understood before:

“If there's a conflict, girls and women want to talk about it. Boys and men, however, need to pull away. A man's greatest suffering,” psychotherapist Stosny says, “comes from the shame he feels when he doesn't measure up—which is why discussing relationship problems (i.e., what he's doing wrong) offers about as much comfort as sleeping on a bed of nails.”

Chris has actually said that to me before - that when I talk to him about my feelings, he just feels shitty, and thus shuts down. Men don’t seem to process the information we share as “helpful strategies for making your wife happy.” They just feel like they screwed up and might as well give up.

So, I bought the book, “how to improve your marriage without talking about it” by Patrice Love and Steven Stosny

I’m not entirely sure that it is going to tell me anything new (the article went on to say that ‘positive reinforcement works wonders – bullshit). I do think the book is going to present information in a new way.

I also think that reading the book will make me more aware of Chris’s perspective. For example, this is my “girl week.” I am typically very hormonal, very emotional, very easily pushed into tears and hopelessness. However, it didn’t happen like that this week. Every time I felt emotion creeping up to ruin our day, I thought, “Please don’t make your marriage worse today. Please don’t make Chris feel like a shitty husband today.” And you know what? Last night, Chris was extra super duper happy when he asked, “Hey, where’s the emotional stuff?” And I said, “That time has passed.”

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprah.aspx?cp-documentid=20421756